You always have the choice to not be that guy

Written by Leda Glyptis
10th October 2024

Before I go any further with a story that will inevitably entail more than a little judgment, let me start by saying: I have been this guy. The guy who is on the phone with what sounds like an unpleasant call as they are boarding a flight. That has been me more than I care to remember.

Just because the phone is ringing, it does not mean it is an appropriate time to take the call

Let me set the scene for you:

You are waiting to board. They are on the phone.

For all you know, they have been on the phone for hours. But they may have just picked up. It’s hard to tell. The conversation is repetitive (so whatever the issue is, there is just the one gripe) but the context is rich. There is more going on than is being covered on this call.

They are talking to someone who isn’t happy, but it’s not personal. They represent an organisation, and although you can only hear their side of the discussion, you know they are speaking to someone who matters about something that matters that is not going to plan.

They are explaining.

Balancing precariously between pleading and irate.

Excusing themselves every now and again as the phone needs to go through a scanner or they need to show a boarding pass. Neither they or the person on the other end say, “Tell you what, call me when you land,” or “I am really sorry to be doing this, but could this possibly wait two hours? I can call you when I land, before I even clear customs and get comfortable. Or maybe it can wait five hours and I can call you when I am in a quiet room and have had lunch?”

But we don’t do that. Five hours, what madness, nothing can wait that long. This is urgent.

But why is it urgent?

Because an important person doesn’t like a thing.

Or an important thing was missed or assumed or misaligned.

And we are coming up to a moment where the important person wants an answer or the important thing needs to be signed, approved or fed into a wider set of assumptions.

Or we are running up against the ever-diminishing fuse of the important person wanting the thing fixed or else…

And that thing cannot possibly be made to wait. That moment cannot be made to hold. It cannot be postponed.

But why not?

I have been the person taking that call while going on leave, returning from leave, being on leave. Because it was urgent and critical. Every bloody time. Even though it wasn’t. Not really. Not ever.

So I say this with a lot of sympathy but the absolute conviction of the convert:

Doctors have emergencies.

Firefighters and first responder services have emergencies.

Pilots may have emergencies (although as I type this on a plane, I don’t even want to think about that).

Police have emergencies.

Financial services professionals do not.

The chap in the suit annoying (or amusing) everyone around him and working himself closer to a coronary as he is inching closer to his seat, is not dealing with an emergency.

He is dealing with poor planning, perhaps.

He is dealing with assumptions and poor communication, most likely.

He is dealing with ego, for sure.

But it almost doesn’t matter what the reason behind the call and the topic of the call is because what he is doing is what is expected of him.

Not needed. But expected. And that is as important when managing a career.

He is playing the game he is in, and it is hard to reset a whole industry, one ill-timed call at a time, but it may be worth contemplating what will have happened if he hadn’t answered the call and messaged politely 15 minutes later saying, “Apologies I missed your call, I was going through security and it was switched off. I am about to take off so I can call you as soon as I land, before I even go through customs, or when I am at my hotel or office, delete as appropriate. Or you can speak to Rene who is on the ground and knows all the things and is cc-ed in this here note.”

Here are the options, let me know what works: this is the first thing I will do on the other side of this thing I am doing now that is really not conducive to having a respectful conversation where I give you my full attention.

Try it.

I am going to go out on a limb and say it will be fine.

The ego won’t go away, and nobody will get any better at planning, so you haven’t fixed anything long term. But nothing will explode. The world will not end. Whatever it is you need to fix, ascertain, confirm or alter… will keep till you land safely on the other side. Or someone else who is in a more appropriate location than you will be called next and pick up the super urgent thing that can’t possibly wait.

Try it. Because we have no emergencies in our industry. But we do have poor planning. A lot of ego. And terrible habits. And although you can’t be responsible for fixing everyone and changing everything, you can take a first step with your habits.

Just because the phone is ringing, it does not mean it is an appropriate time to take the call.

It may be more respectful, even, to the very important person on the other side of the call and their very large ego, to not take the call while your attention is fragmented.

It may be a better choice for everyone if you don’t take the call.

Unless the ego we are dealing with is not of the super important person on the other end of the phone, but the irreplaceable, ‘nobody else will do’ person on this end of the phone, still yapping on despite the seatbelt sign being on and the aircraft moving.

It is an emergency, you see, and nobody but him can save the day.

#LedaWrites

Leda Glyptis is FinTech Futures’ resident thought provocateur – she leads, writes on, lives and breathes transformation and digital disruption.